TRIals & TRIbulations: America

America: The first team to ever pick me up.

I guess I can deal with that. Hopefully, it won't be the last team though. I'm honored to get to wear the Team USA kit in a race. It should be an amazing experience. I've also bumped up training ever since I got the news in order to better represent; and you know, kick ass for myself. I took a camping trip to Pelham last weekend to do some training on the course. The run course has changed to eliminate the last of the death march hills. That's good for me and my running game, but it helps everyone else too. The trip was two days of ups and downs. I planned on doing two laps of the bike course and then a full run through of the run course for a solid brick workout. Two-thirds of the way through the first bike lap I noticed my crankset was loose; therefore, sliding back and forth on my $220 ceramic bottom bracket. The trail included a few creek crossings too which is great for it I hear. So I found a road out and back to the car where I got out my tools in an attempt to fix the issue. Satisfied with my work, I headed back to finish the course. Once complete, I wasn't really feeling another lap since I was still a bit tired from road intervals the day before and still needed to set up camp and get wood before it got completely dark. The post-ride run went decently well and I could tell some of my weight training was paying off on the short, steep hills.

Rain during the night made for a muddier trail system the next day which was topped off by rain at the beginning of my run and the end of my bike. I swapped up the order to get a better quality run on the course. Overall, I wasn't really thrilled with the trip or my performance. I expected more and was a little down about not living up to it. It made me question my training and progression towards my goal. It made me question my ability, skills, speed, and the qualifications for making Team USA. I wondered why I go through all of it if it's not ever going to really amount to anything; why I sacrifice the things I do in pursuit of this dream. I know I am doing damage to my joints, especially the ones I've already damaged and continue to hurt. These are some of the things I think about on long rides and runs. They get emotional and have extreme highs and lows. Not emotional in the way that I'm going to break down and cry, but that feelings towards people and objects come from nowhere and I feel I must express them and talk to people about it. Thoughts race through my head more during those long rides than any other aspect of my life. It's one of the reasons I do it, and love it. Then once I step off the bike or out of the shoes, the conviction fades. Things go unsaid and feelings just sink back down; the words that say the ideas and feelings so perfectly simply disappear. If I could dictate my thoughts during my rides, I'm sure most people would think I'm crazy, but in an oh so eloquent way. On the other hand, some rides I feel awesome and think I'm flying through the trail or on the road. I think I could win any race and am practically uncatchable on the bike, especially in a sprint. Those are good rides.

So coming off this low, I looked through my book of notes and saw some stats from last year's training trip in Pelham. This year my average speed on the bike was up over 1 mph and the max speed was up over 5 mph. I also saw a note saying that my shoulder didn't bother me when I swam down there. I didn't remember having any shoulder problems last year and was now curious if it was the same issue I've been having this year. I couldn't find any other notes in last year's training log though. When I was scrolling through the log, I saw some impressive runs. I was running much faster last year posting a 46 minute 10K after a 26 mile road ride and a 44 minute 10K during an 8 mile run. I also weighed 178 four days before the Southeastern Championship race. I am nowhere near those times or that weight, which might not be a bad thing since I am still so far out from the race and last year's runs pretty much all sucked except for the one Casey Fannin and I did head-to-head the whole way at Xterra Lock 4 Blast. Plus my weight is different this year. I've been hitting the weights like I never have before. I've put up some serious numbers and feel stronger than ever. Ultrasound analysis says my body fat is only at 9.2%, making 178 almost unachievable. I'll get further testing done over the next few months since I'm signed up for some research studies that include BodPod body composition testing and several VO2 max testings in various environmental and hydration conditions.

So, some positives and some negatives. Overall I'm going to assume it's a positive, which could be reassured with a dominating and definitive win this upcoming weekend. It will be the first race of the season and will be a collegiate cycling race at Dalton State. So I'll take advice and perspective from a more seasoned veteran in the ups and downs, Andrea Wilson, and "cheer up emo kid." I mean it's not all bad.