Down Time

I have been meaning to write an update about how surgery went and the rehab was coming for some time now, but just never got motivated to do it. I could always find a reason to put it off. It's amazing how inefficient my life is currently. I am doing very little outside of school which is only half a day Monday through Friday, but I still can't find down time to write a post or study the training book I'm trying to read. Staying busy with training, school, and social life really pushed me to fine tune my time management skills and make the most of my days. Last spring I was in class from 8-5 four days of the week and putting in around 12 hours of training a week. I stayed on top of everything. Where did that motivation, determination, and work ethic go? Down the drain with my activity level I have to assume.

Anyway, surgery went well and recovery is taking an eternity. Not exactly, but being on crutches for 45 days was a long time. I watched as my calf and quads shriveled away as my hands and armpits became calloused. It was so liberating when I could finally walk and be free from my crutches. Then walking made me sore. And I loved it. I am now back in therapy trying to regain my strength. It is a slow process. I have yet to feel any soreness in my thighs because my calf and foot intrinsic muscles are so weak and atrophied that they limit my abilities for higher function. My lower leg and foot tremble after walking long distances or in single leg stance. I like the sense of improvement, but I want more progress in more areas.

In addition to not having the motivation to write, I also was never really sure how much I wanted to divulge when I finally did write something. I definitely struggled there for a while, but I now feel close to the home stretch of being able to resume normal life again. The strength will have to come over the next several months. I cannot expect to just jump back into the form I had. It had taken 5 solid months to get there coming from an able body. It will take a lot longer now. I'm getting excited about buying new equipment, my new bike, and planning for the next race season. I have a lot of unaccomplished goals from this year that will get carried over with a new vengeance. I feel like I got robbed: my bike, my fitness, my strength, my power, my races, my season, my standings, my championships, my jerseys, my glory. And that will have to drive me early in this rehab process to regain my form. I'm just waiting for my foot strength to catch up with the rest of my body in order to proceed to the next level.